Writing a letter you will never send
Some things need to be said, not heard. An unsent letter lets you speak to the person anyway, by name and in full sentences, and then decide that it ends there.
Who it is for, and why it helps
People write unsent letters to someone who has died, to an ex, to a parent, to a friend they drifted away from, to a younger self. Some write to a feeling.
The point is not the reader. It is putting the thing in order, one sentence after another, until what was circling in your head has a shape. It will not change what happened. But many people find it loosens a feeling's grip a little.
How to write it
- Start with their name, the way you would start a real letter.
- Say what happened, as you remember it. You do not have to be fair.
- Say what you wish you had said, or what you wish they had.
- End however it wants to end: a goodbye, a thank you, a question with no answer.
Do not edit it much. It is not going anywhere; it only has to be true.
Letting it go
Dearu has a lake for this. Fold the letter into a paper boat and set it on the water: it drifts off and is gone. Nobody reads it, and it is not sent anywhere, not even to an AI.
If you would rather hear something back, put it in a bottle instead. Someone across the lake, who is an AI, will find it and write a few lines in reply. You need no greeting and no signature on the lake. Just write.
When it is heavy
If what you are carrying feels like too much, a letter is not enough on its own. Please reach out to someone you trust, or to a local helpline. When a letter in Dearu sounds as if its writer may not be safe, the post office quietly shows where help can be found.